The Misadventures of Sirius Black
by Elizabeth Auron
Summary: Dog kennels... An evil colorguard instructor... A few insane authors... 3:00 in the morning... This can only turn out awesome!
1. A Moonlit Search of a House for Flags

A Moonlit Search of a House for Flags  
  
From the files of the Department of Mysteries, Ministry of Magic,  
London, England  
  
It's nighttime. There is a strange noise coming from Abi's closet. Hmmm. what can it be? Well, the reader doesn't know, but we do know what it is. It is Sirius, in a dog kennel, scratching and trying to get out. Finally, we hear a loud crash.  
  
CRASH!  
  
Yeah, that was it. We now see Sirius, in horrible shape, crawling out of the cage and shaking himself off, sighing with relief. Quietly, he sneaks around the room to the bed, peaking under the covers.  
  
"DAMN! Abi is not there. Now, where could she be?" Resolved to find Abi, he snoops around, peaking into every room, but she is nowhere to be found. Finally, he decides to go to the basement.  
  
While he is walking through the basement, he trips on a billiard pole, and sends a whole line of them crashing down on the floor. Of course, the noise awakens Abi's father, who is sleeping nearby. Why he sleeps in the basement, nobody knows. It's a mystery that we won't discuss in this particular story. Well, anyway, he wakes up, and Sirius realizes he has to run. Fast.  
  
So he runs to, naturally, the nearest exit he sees: the window. Now, keep in mind, it's a basement window. So it's small. So you can't get out of it. But Sirius is pretty terrified at this moment, so he is not thinking very well. That happens to you after a while of being stuck in a dog-kennel. So you can imagine what happened when he tried to get out of the little basement window.  
  
Simply put, he got stuck. He got stuck just as Abi's dad was approaching. We will draw the curtain on that unpleasant scene, for now, and go to 12 Aspen Court, which just happens to be where Abi actually is, at a sleepover with Meghan and Katia. 12 Aspen court is, by the way, Katia's house. Well, it used to be Mr. Moore's house, but that's a different story all in itself.  
  
* * * *  
  
In the meantime, Severus Snape has been under the impression for a month now that the students of Hogwarts are plotting against the teachers. He is at the moment checking every student's household to destroy any such plots. In fact, he has just arrived at the home of Katia; where Katia, Abi, and Meghan are sound asleep.  
  
"This may be the house of the key plotters," he murmured to himself, and sure enough he saw a movie running on the laptop on the floor. The picture showed a man standing on the crow's nest of a sinking ship.  
  
"I knew it!" he shouted, then slapped his hands over his mouth scared that he had awoken the girls, "They must be plotting to turn Hogwarts into a ship and sink it in the lake!" he whisper/yelled.  
  
He is five seconds from smashing the laptop when Sirius bursts in the door yelling something about Abi and a kennel. So, instead, he smashes the laptop into Sirius' head, knocking him out. Suddenly, the house transforms into twelve Grimwald Place, Sirius' house and a crash is heard from upstairs.  
  
If you were wondering how Sirius got out of the window, he wiggled, a lot. After he realized he was invisible to muggles  
  
* * * *  
  
Well, it is about time that we introduce a certain character named Mrs. Starch. Mrs. Starch is a red-haired, evil Colorguard instructor. Now, see, we'll have to add yet another mystery to our collection of mysteries in our story. This particular one, is the mystery of Mrs. Starch's past. Nobody knows who she was before she became a chorus teacher/colorguard instructor. There are, however, many theories circulating around. Some say that she used to be a dominatrix; others will assure you that she was a lion tamer, but we must admit that none of those theories are actually correct. The reader must know the truth, so we will tell it to the reader. The truth is actually that before she became a sort of a second principal of the school, she was a dictator of a small, third world country. And like all dictators of all small third-world countries, she was constantly paranoid about people plotting to overthrow her. It never did occur to her, that if she wasn't such a tyrant to both her people and her students, maybe they wouldn't try to overthrow her at all. She just couldn't grasp that, so she just continued being a tyrant, and so her fear was constantly present.  
  
On this particular day, or rather, the night before, she had a strange dream. This dream disturbed her deeply and she woke up in cold sweat afterwards. It was very frightening. Because you see, she dreamed that her Colorguard students had plotted a revolution, presented her with a Declaration of Independence, and when she declined it furiously, they suddenly brought out their flags from behind their backs (how these flags got behind their backs in the first place was something she couldn't comprehend), and attacked her with them. It was horrible. She ran and ran but they just continued chasing her all around the football field, yelling in their horrid little high-pitched voices and threatening her with the flagpoles. She hated them. She hated them all. And when she woke up from the dream, she felt distinctly that it was not one of those dreams that just come and go, and don't mean anything. No, she was certain that this dream was meant to come true, if she wasn't going to try and prevent it somehow from happening. And that is exactly what she set out to do.  
  
First she was going to go and rule out the whole possibility of them attacking her with flagpoles, and the only obvious way to do that was to go to the household of every student and steal the flags. It would be very hard, as there are a lot of Colorguard students, but she felt that making them surrender the flags willingly would be too suspicious, and it would just quicken the progress of the revolution. So this particular day, she decided to look into the house of Meghan. Meghan, of course, was not there, as the reader would kindly remember, she was at Katia's house at the sleepover. So, of course, she thought that they had all gotten together to plot, and assumed that all of them had their flags with them in case of an emergency. Because you see, Mrs. Starch could never imagine that anyone could think in a different pattern than her. Sadly, she considered her students to be as paranoid and scared as she was.  
  
Well, unfortunately for her, she had just gotten through the upstairs window of Katia's house, when, as we remember, it turned into 12 Grimwald place. Amazed, she looked out of the window, but outside, everything seemed to be the same. So she thought that she was a little too tired from climbing all the way up to the upper window (we won't tire the reader by relating the painful process) and she just blacked out for a second.  
  
She took one look at the room and immediately saw what she wanted to see. The flags! They were up on the wall. The hideous beings were using them as mascots, hanging them up on the wall! How dare they! What they were in reality were the curtains draped around the portrait of Sirius' mother, but Mrs. Starch didn't know this. She has never read Harry Potter, and she lacked an imagination that would make it possible to comprehend it at all. To her, the brightly colored curtains were nothing but Colorguard flags. She didn't know about the horror concealed behind them. With a triumphant shout, she sprang towards the curtains, and just as she was about to yank them off the wall, she heard a terrible voice behind her shouting:  
  
"STOP! DO NOT TOUCH THE CURTAINS!"  
  
Startled, terrified, and most of all, appalled at the fact that someone had the guts to call her precious flags "curtains", she turned and looked at the man who had apparently uttered the cry. What she saw almost smote her from her feet. She drew a sharp breath, and immediately her heart started to race. And suddenly, (if only her students could see her now!) she sighed dreamily and smiled. The man in front of her was Severus Snape.  
  
* * * *  
  
When Sirius woke up, Mrs. Starch and Severus Snape were still standing there, breathing hard, staring at each other. In fact, they have been standing there for quite a few hours now. Sirius groaned.  
  
"Oh, God, not again. What a gushy moment."  
  
Meanwhile, the loving couple was still staring into each other's eyes. And finally,  
  
Severus found his voice, cleared his throat and said in the softest voice he could manage: "My dear. would you. would you marry me?"  
  
With tears in her eyes, Mrs. Starch answered him. "Oh, Severus, dear" how she knew his name right away is yet another mystery we can add to our list. But then again, lovers always know each other's names before they ask. They gather it from dreams and visions.  
  
Anyway, the vicious Colorguard instructor looked so unusually tender (oh, if ONLY Meghan, Katia, and Abi weren't asleep and could see this!), and she was so touched that she could barely utter the sacred word.  
  
"Yes," she whispered.  
  
Unfortunately for Sirius, he actually had to witness this horrifying scene. We will assure the reader that reading this is not even remotely as terrible as witnessing it. Shuddering with disgust, he stood up, walked over to the two star-crossed lovers, pulled out a flagpole out of nowhere, and whacked them both over the head with it.  
  
The last words that were heard from him before he dragged them both off to the woods were: "Damn it all, why am I always the one to clean up everyone's romantic messes?"  
  
* * * *  
  
At precisely this same moment, a small origami ship made and set down on the water by some careless student at Hogwarts sank into the lake.  
  
* * * *  
  
Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering what happened to Katia, Abi and Meghan, they slept through the whole thing.  
  
* * * *  
  
Oh right, we forgot to add one thing. An ending. I suppose the reader cannot do without an ending. So we will assure the reader that everyone lived happily ever after, in a way. 


	2. From the House to the School with Knives

From the House to the School with Knives  
  
A story of the staircase from hell  
  
Sirius Black is in streak of bad luck in case you couldn't tell already, for you see my dear friends that as Sirius was leaving the scene of his last misadventure, Severus Snape suddenly became insane and decided to try and stab Sirius to death. For Snape now seemed to believe that Sirius was the source of all evil. Which, as we know, isn't completely untrue. Anyways, he now needed to get away from Snape or kill him. The only problem was there was no one who would in their right mind protect him from the maniac potions master, except Abi and he was still mad at Abi.  
  
Abi was no longer at Katia's house though; she was now at Meghan's house having another sleepover with Meghan's sister Alli. So, the only thing for Sirius to do NOW was to go to Meghan's house or kill Snape (which really isn't an option if he doesn't want to get sent back to Azkaban). Then, Sirius did what any sensible person would do at that moment (no comment please), he ran like crazy to Meghan's house.  
  
* * * *  
  
Meanwhile, in Alli and Meghan's house Abi and Alli had just said good-bye to their other friend Mandy (she had slept over as well). Abi was busy grinding clumps of dirt into powder (why, you are not allowed to know yet, but I know). Alli was carving a stick with her pocketknife (see above note). Suddenly, Sirius burst through the front door (which is really on the side of the house, but that doesn't matter) followed closely by Snape who was flailing the knife around above his head.  
  
"HELP ME ABI!" Sirius screamed as he ran in circles around the kitchen table. Apparently, Snape isn't smart enough to go the opposite direction and is still running behind Sirius.  
  
"Help you?" Abi asked, a huge grin spreading across her face, "Alli? Did you hear what Sirius wants me to do?"  
  
Alli nodded, grinning broadly as well. Then, they each grabbed one of Sirius's hands and dragged him off towards Crossroads (the middle school about a block from the house). Snape, of course, is still chasing after them.  
  
* * * *  
  
Oh by the way, before this vast scene of pandemonium Alli and Abi had escorted Mandy back home. Alli had suggested that they should schedule another sleepover. So Alli entered Mandy's house to check their calendar. Abi on the other hand, decided to rummage through the garage, looking for sharp, shiny objects. She was just about to give up when she found a scythe lying behind the dusty lawnmower (why she had a scythe in her garage is beyond me, but it's her house not mine, so who cares).  
  
* * * *  
  
Now then, where were we. Oh! Abi and Alli are dragging Sirius who is being chased by Snape to the middle school. In case you were curious there are now three different knives in this story Snape's dagger, Alli's pocketknife, and Abi's scythe.  
  
When the reached Crossroads, the only door that was open was the side entrance that opened into the stairwell (yes, it's the one from the title). Alli dragged Sirius up the stairs and Abi stood at the foot of the stairs to block Snape. Snape holds his dagger up ready to stab her, but Abi pulls the scythe out of nowhere and swings it at Snape, chopping of his hand that held the dagger (which goes flying and vanishes into thin air).  
  
"M-m-my hand!" Snape paused staring at his wrist.  
  
"Luke. I am your father!" Abi said suddenly and her scythe turned into a red lightsaber.  
  
* * * *  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere in California, Arnold Schwarzenegger is watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back at the scene where Vader cuts off Luke's hand, when all of a sudden Darth Vader's lightsaber becomes a scythe.  
  
"NO! MOMMY! THE EVIL SPACE ALIENS ARE RUINING MY FAVORITE MOVIE!" Arnold whined.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Noooooooo!" Snape screamed as a green lightsaber clattered to the ground. He dove for it and holding it in his other hand took a battle stance.  
  
* * * *  
  
Back in California, Arnold is even more upset about the disappearance of the green lightsaber and has been ranting for ten minutes.  
  
"YOU STUPID, MEAN ALIEN PEOPLES! WHEN I'M GOVERNOR, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL FIRED FROM YOUR JOBS! I'LL BE BACK! Popcorn. mmm."  
  
* * * *  
  
So, an epic battle ensues between Snape and Abi. Now, you might be wondering why Abi is Vader and Snape is Luke, well even if you're not, it is because Gryffindor is red and good, and Slytherin is green and bad. Plus, since this story really has nothing to do with Star Wars and it does have to do with Hogwarts, then the lightsaber colors make sense.  
  
Snape battles Abi, pushing her up the stairs backwards. They are halfway up the stairs when Snape decides to JUMP out of the way of Abi's attack and forgetting that he's NOT Luke Skywalker and that he CAN'T use the Force to fly; crashes to the floor at the bottom of the staircase.  
  
* * * *  
  
Well, Snape was left in the nurses' office to be found on the first day of school (most likely still unconscious from the fall and lose of blood from his wrist). Sirius's butt was saved by Abi and Alli (see she did help him). Finally, Arnold's movie was saved because the various missing items returned (except for Han Solo, because he's locked in Sirius's old kennel) and Mandy got her scythe back (which she didn't even remember she had and Abi could have easily kept).  
  
* * * * If you would like to know where Mrs. Starch got to, well, I DON'T KNOW! I'M JUST THE AUTHOR! I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
* * * *  
  
Hey! The alien's here!  
  
{`-'}[~]  
  
Lookie! He found my disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Sirius, Hogwarts, or any of the random HP characters who show up. We also do not own the various Star Wars paraphernalia that periodically appear out of nowhere (sorry Arnold). The only thing we own is basically Abi, Meghan, Katia, Alli, and Mrs. Starch, and the storyline (duh).  
  
Thank you Mister Alien for finding my disclaimer.  
  
{`-'}, "Gisgus'gin sidhognees!" (Translation- You're welcome) 


	3. Elves, Pirates, Wizards, and Muggles Ext...

Elves, Pirates, Wizards, and Muggles Extraordinaire  
  
Four Worlds Collide  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow has just sailed to the Malfoy Mansion (yes he SAILED). It happened like this Abi, Nikki, Rachel, and Ashley had brought him to life from Abi's laptop (the laptop's named Jack also but that's not the point) and sent him out in his ship. At this moment the sky is falling and rocks are raining from the sky. The reason Jack has come to the Malfoy's is to repair his ship because the falling rocks are puncturing the sides of it. He knocks on the door and Draco answers.  
  
"Hi," Jack says, "Would you please help me fix the holes in my ship?"  
  
"Why should I?" Draco said about to shut the door.  
  
"Because I'll kill you and ransack your house if you don't."  
  
Just then, Meghan showed up in the doorway. "Now, now Drakkie-wakkie no being rude to the very strange looking pirate-like dude."  
  
Suddenly, Remus Lupin appeared floating in midair. "You three have been chosen for the Holy Quest of saving the world from the evil raccoons from hell, who wish to take it over."  
  
"Let's go to my house, we can use it as a base," Meghan decided.  
  
* * * *  
  
At this very moment, Jack Sparrow, I mean Captain Jack Sparrow is at Meghan's house. He's very, very, very, drunk, and is shouting random things.  
  
"Lets eat pillows!!" "The cranberries are walking! The cranberries are walking!!"  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!!" Meghan yells.  
  
"Meghan, Captain Jack Sparrow is drunk, and when you're drunk, you say random things!" Ashley explained.  
  
"No you don't." Meghan said, crossing her arms over her chest angrily.  
  
"Yes you do." Ashley retorted.  
  
"No you don't!"  
  
"Yes you do!"  
  
"No you don't!"  
  
"Yes you do!"  
  
"STOP!" Snape shouted. Snape had been sent there to help Jack, Meghan, and Draco save the world from the raccoons. (The school nurses got to school on the first day, screamed, and threw the unconscious Snape out the window.) "Your incessant babbling is driving me insane!"  
  
"That's not nice Snape," Allison said trying to pry Sirius' hands off of her legs. Ever since Snape had showed up he had decided Alli would make a good shield, "He's drunk, he can't help himself and Meghan and Ashley like arguing. Besides, you were all ready insane."  
  
All of a sudden the first movement from Beethoven's fifth symphony blasted through the room. Snape clapped his hands over his ears, screamed, and dove for cover. Sirius shrieked and bolted for the closet. Jack started singing "A Pirate's Life for Me" against the piano notes. Meghan, Ashley, and Allison stared in confusion and Draco started to cry.  
  
The music shut off and Harry stepped out from behind the stereo. "Good," he said to the now silent room, "now, help me!" He was covered from head to foot with cute little animals from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves who were gnawing at his body. Around each animal's neck was a nametag with a different name of a Death Eater. One of the nametags read Lucifer.  
  
So, Alli actually thought of an idea (with Sirius once again clinging to her leg) and summoned Mt. Doom out of Middle Earth. First, it vanished from Mordor and appeared in Isengard crushing Orthanc, Saruman, and the orcs. Then, it vanished and appeared in Rivendell squishing Elrond in the process (yea. he's so mean). Next it popped up in Knockturn Alley squashing Lucius, then Abi's House to say, "Hi," to her (yes, Mt. Doom stopped by to talk) and finally reached Meghan's house. Everyone but Snape and Draco cast hovering charms on themselves as the volcano erupted. Snape, Draco, all the raccoons, and Harry whose charm failed were incinerated by the lava flow and the world now was a little island in space with only Sirius, Nikki, Abi, Katia, Alli, Ashley, Meghan, and Mandy alive. 


	4. The Loss of One of Our Own

**The Loss of One of Our Own**

_In which we see the death of the poor laptop, Jack._

Feudal Japan sounded like a great place… until you tasted the instant ramen. Which means Inuyasha has to wander hungrily around lot. The crazy half-dog demon was addicted to the wonderful noodles but had very little time… after all, he has to wreak havoc throughout the region. So he had to stick with the microwavable kind and, as established above, that stuff absolutely sucked. Which happened too literally one yucky Monday morning where Inuyasha had to choose between instant ramen and dirty spinach.

"Ugh!" he growled as he forked the slimy cold noodles into his mouth. Shippou grinned.

"I don't know what you're talking about, this stuff is yummy! I want more!"

At this point, Inuyasha would've retorted back about how Shippou was welcome to have his disgusting bowl… but then a sudden vortex appeared in the bowl. But that's not the scary part. The real scary part was the vortex was tie-dye.

"AHHHHH! I TOLD YOU THIS WAS ALIVE! IT BURNS!"

As Shippou scratched his head, wondering what was going on, Inuyasha disappeared into the bowl and the vortex disappeared. Shippou looked in the bowl, which was back to its slimy noodle state.  
"Wonder where he went… hey, more ramen for me!"

And with that, Shippou slurped up the rest of Inuyasha's instant ramen nonchalantly.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha was tumbling down what was possibly the most colorful tunnel in the world, screaming at the top of his lungs. And then he fell on a large pile of…. _ice cream?_ He immediately got up, feeling both scared for his life and utterly confused. It as a miracle he wasn't leaking any body fluids. Around him, people in dark robes were grinning evilly. It didn't help that they had weird machines all around the enormous room. Plus there was a weird black-and-white bird with bow.

"Hey, look! It's Inuyasha!" shouted Ari Powwel, who was surrounded by nine other people (her muses, of course… we can talk about them later).

"Gah?" said another girl named Addy (which was short for Adrasteia, which wasn't even her real name because her real name was Shruthi… but we'll get to that later too). Inuyasha paused to consider that "gah" in Japanese really meant, "is". This was freaking him out. First there was the nauseating instant ramen. Then, there was the tie-dye vortex of doom. But the stating of random Japanese words was just too much for this guy. Inuyasha drew out the Tetsusaiga from his scabbard and pointed it at the nearest object, which happened to be the innocent but expendable Jack (not Jack the _pirate_ or the monkey, but Jack the _laptop_).

Meanwhile Sirius was really pissed off at Alli for destroying the world so he brought the world back and shunned her to death. Later that day, Remus Lupin showed up in search of his best friend Padfoot. Then, because of Alli's absence they decided to search her house for anything they could use as blackmail (Abi always gave blackmail about them to anyone who would pay for it). When they entered her room Sirius tripped over the mounds of clothes lying on her floor. "Shnizzlefits!" he shouted as his head collided with something hard and pointy. It was one of those magician boxes with the swords going through it (why she had a magic box in her room is another mystery we can add to the random object list). Before Remus could react he felt Sirius duck behind him.

"What scared you fraidy cat?" he sneered.

"That box moved," he wimpered completely oblivious to Remus' insult. Remus rolled his eyes as he went to open the box but jumped when he found none other than the famous Victor Krum trapped inside.

"What the bloody hell are you doing in there!" Remus shouted without thinking.

"Hermione trapped me in here," he said, "She has one sick mind."

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW" Sirius shouted from behind them. "That girl scares me as it is!"

"Yeah well that makes two of us… NOW WILL YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Victor yelled. The two friends immediately proceeded to help the Quidditch player out of the tiny box. They couldn't help but notice that he had only one eyebrow.

Just as the trio had exited the mess known as Alli's room Shruthi apparated right in front of them.

"Hey, guys! What are you all doing here? It's so boring over here. Let's go somewhere interesting!" she exclaimed.

"Like…?" Victor snapped. He wasn't in a good mood, but I guess that's excusable, considering that he had spent more than six months in a box that was about one fourth his size.

"Well, how about Abi's house? There are always plenty of interesting things in Abi's house."

"Abi? Who's Abi?" Krum wondered irritably.

Sirius smiled an evil smile.

"A friend of Hermione's."

At the sound of Hermione's name poor Victor's face turned a loverly shade of forget-me-not blue.

"Nooooo!" he screamed. And the next thing everybody knew was that he was gone.

"Look what you've done!" Shruthi yelled. Sirius shrugged.

"I didn't really mean to scare him THAT badly. I didn't know he'd react this way to the sound of her name."

"You did too!"

"Well… ok, you're right, I did. But now he's gone, so let's enjoy the moment."

"Fine. We're going to Abi's house anyway," Shruthi decided.  
"Awww, do we have to?" Sirius whined.

"We do."

And so they all went to 1 Rochelle where Abi lived.

Considering the fact that Abi is most usually found in her basement, they decided to look there. To their surprise, they didn't find her. Instead, what they saw was Katia conversing with what seemed like a large coconut from a distance. Being the rude jerks that they were, they decided to eavesdrop on Katia's conversation. To their surprise, she seemed to be calling the coconut Bob. Her voice was strangely evil-sounding.

"So, Bob," she was saying, "Anything new?"

"Not really."  
"What of Mrs. Starch? Did she get restored?"

"I believe so. Only Draco, Harry, Snape, and the raccoons got incinerated."

"So… where would she be now?"

"I believe that currently she has set up an independent republic somewhere in the North Pole."

Katia looked impressed.

"Wow! In two days?"  
"Yeah, well, she's like that, you know. She was born to be a dictator. Right now she is especially vicious because she still hasn't gotten over her loss… I mean, Snape. So she's taking it all out on the people."  
"Wonderful, wonderful, she'll help us with our wonderful evil plan to take over the world."  
Everyone who was eavesdropping let out a collective gasp. _Stupid people! Hush! She'll hear you!_

Katia turns her head.

_Too late._

"Katia! Oh, Katia, you're not really going to take over the world, are you?" Shruthi sniffled.

"Katia? Who's Katia! I'm not Katia! I'm Xena! Ayyyyayayayayayayayayaya!"

Yelling thus, Katia began running around the room and doing cartwheels. Sirius and Shruthi eyed her skeptically.

"She must've eaten something unhealthy." Sirius suggested.

"Ramen… Probably."

"You dare insult me!" Ka--, I mean, Xena cried. "I shall overpower you!

So Katia charged at Remus armed with a rubber, ring Frisbee and a plastic sword with play-doh holding it together. With a tired sigh ("Not again") Remus took a calm, practiced step to the side and let Katia (NO IT'S XENA, DAMN IT, GET IT RIGHT!) ram into the wall behind him.

Sirius grabbed one of the pool cues from the wall and poked her with it to see if she was alive. Katia's behavior in response to the poking resembled that of freshly made jello. Then, she looked up at the top of the stairs and fainted.

…………….

………………

……………………..

……………………………

…………………………………….

………………………………………………

Abi was standing at the top off the stair with a very annoyed looking Harrison Ford who was dressed in a rather tight Han Solo costume that he probably never thought he'd see again in his life…

But that's another story...


End file.
